These days we wonder what is it that women really want? I mean I’m not talking about the Mel Gibson movie, I’m talking about what is it that women want in a man? Is it perhaps a manner-challenged, abusive, soap opera jackass? No!! Of course they don’t want to be anywhere near a guy of that quality. All jokes aside though, we all know that the typical nice guy is probably going to get shafted, while the jackass, is probably cruising along the streets with his girlfriend en route to the hottest night spot. Why is that though you ask? What’s the difference between your typical nice guy and the jackass that treats women like the unwanted toe nail clippings. Simple really, it’s this: Nice guys are just awfully insecure.

When a woman meets another man, what most likely goes on in her head is two scenarios. The first one is the relationship scenario while the second one being the scenario of friendship (and that’s where the nice guys normally end up). This scenario I’ve seen happen many a times in front of me and around me. Don’t believe me?? The next time you meet a girl, try being real nice, and see if you can pursue a relationship with this new girl. Back to what I was saying, nice guys mostly end up being good friends to the women and nothing more will come of it. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a nice guy, it’s just that life is going to be unbearable when you’re going to be disheartened. Perhaps the most off putting realisation for the nice guys is that they have to wait until they’re damn near thirty-something for a woman to finally wake up and leave the jackass she once called her boyfriend or husband, finally deciding that all along the nice guy was what she was yearning for.

Nice guys will do anything at a drop of a dime for the women, perhaps it’s to gain recognition, attention and acknowledge that they’re the sweetest guys around. Let’s take a scenario of where the nice guy friend is out clubbing with his desired woman. The woman asks the nice guy friend to get a drink for her at the bar, while she goes and does her own thing with the guys she’s been scoping out. The nice guys mentality is to straight away get the drink, hoping that in doing so his chances will dramatically increase with the woman. To top it off the nice guy has already started off on the wrong track, because nice guys are just dull and predictable. Traits that no women certainly hold with high esteem. What they want is a man that will offer them a sense of adventure, excitement and to be spontaneous. But that doesn’t stop the women from using the nice guys to their benefit. Let’s say that a woman has had a terrible day, or just going through some relationship issues. Who is she going to turn to? The nice guy of course, and no doubt he’ll be there to comfort her and ease her woes. She does this instinctively, knowing that he’ll always be there, regardless of what time it is, or what he’s doing. To make matters worse, the nice guy is always going to keep his thoughts to himself and never speak his mind. He does this because, should he act on how he feels, then it may jeopardise the friendship that the nice guy and woman has. The result is that the woman basically makes the nice guy her own personal slave.

The typical nice guy makes matters worse for himself as he may have the urge to go overboard at times. He may bring flowers to a date, tries to woo her with gifts, and thinks he knows all there is about romance. This of course all leads to heartbreaks and even more frustrations as his attempts go unnoticed. The nice guy would then think to himself of why did it go oh so wrong, and be convinced that she was the one. And perhaps the nice guy is the ideal guy for the woman, but what chance does he have when all the woman does is party with the jackass.

We all know the jackasses. We see him all the time around work, school, the mall, restaurants, etc. Heck, some of us are the jackass or at the very least have a close friend that is one. Women seem to be fascinated with the whole bad boy image. They want a man with a presence like The Fonz from Happy Days or Tony Montana in Scarface. Why is this though? Is it because both display a certain type of personality? Take into consideration that jackasses treat women with little or no respect at all, while on the opposite end of the spectrum, nice guys give women the world. Jackasses are blunt and cocky; they tell it how it is. Just imagine a beautiful girl at a bar alone. A nice guy has the courage to walk up to her and tells her how amazingly beautiful she is. He makes small talk and offers to buy her a drink. The girl’s immediate reaction is to reject him since she knows she has the upper hand and can control this nice guy. It’s too easy for her, she probably hears it all the time from guys that she is beautiful, and it just tends to bore them since it is so repetitive. Girls like to be challenged. While on the other hand, the jackass walks up to the girl and tells her that she has something stuck in between her teeth or something similiar to that effect and walks away. The approach he has taken is a “neg” to the girl and is unexpected. She will be insecure and rather upset for a while, but for the rest of the night she will have her eyes on him. The way a jackass acts is completely different from the nice guy, and women notice this. The jackass will be the alpha male in society, all mighty and all-powerful. Power is something that attracts females. Thus the outcome, the jackass gets the girl.

Just because you’re a jackass, doesn’t mean you can’t have positive attributes however. Jackasses can be said to be confident, mysterious in a way, strong, unpredictable, dominating, and presenting a challenge to girls. Negative features can come in the form of the jackass being emotionally and physically abusive, foolish and socially intolerable. Notice that the positive features of the jackass are attributes that usually draw females, while their negative features are the ones that usually come out over time? In both cases, women get something they can’t from the nice guys.

This blog is not about how women are evil and cruel to the nice guy. Reality is that nice guys don’t like themselves. How can a woman like a nice guy when the nice guy does not like himself? Jackasses are already cocky and they have that mentality that every girl out there wants them. Insecurity doesn’t apply to them but to the nice guys, and insecurity is a turn off to most women. So it’s tough luck for the nice guys who do their best but as the saying goes, “nice guys finish last” while the jackass sips his beer with one hand and puts his arm around his girl with the other.

What I’ve learned though is that the roles can be interchangeable . A nice guy can be a jackass sometimes and vice versa. So to all the nice guys out there, stop being so damn nice! Be spontaneous, be different, and break the barriers of insecurity holding you back.