My Epiphany

I hung out with Anna yesterday and we went to the cinemas to watch Blood Diamond. I’ve seen the movie twice now and it’s still a good movie, you just have to be able to handle that kind of violence. After the movies was lunch in the city by Gus’s cafe, Anna took control of the ordering since she regularly goes here with her co-workers and friends. Excellent choices may I tell you, she chose the Platter for two and the fried sweet pumpkins with dip, really tasty and it was just a good combination of food; if you can see the picture clearly. It was during this meal that I started thinking of all past relationships and which one really mattered. May I tell you that while both Anna and I were eating, not one word was said between us, and probably because both of us were in our world, and I call that comfortable silence. Unlike that awkward silence that you get when you don’t know what to say or just run out of things to say (incompatible time to bail out).

Yes, I do have to say that with every relationship that I’ve been in, I learn something new with each women that I’ve been with. Just that at times I get too caught up in the moment and tend to make the same mistakes. It’s ok when you perhaps commit the same mistakes twice but more would be pushing it. But have you ever been so in love with someone, that regardless what they doto you, you’ll forgive them over and over again? Probably the worst part of any relationship is when you realise that things are just not getting any better and it’s time to let go. Then comes those anxieties and how you think you miss that someone but really it’s just you adjusting to being by yourself. Just be strong and everything will fall into place I say.

My epiphany was that I’ve never made it past all four stages of a relationship. The stages in my eyes are form, storm, norm and perform. How it goes is like this:

1. Form, obviously the stage where you hook up and it’s the honeymoon stage

2. Storm, when the honeymoon stage is over, you find out what both of you are really like, conflicts and arguments occur more then usual, and sometimes you wonder if this is all worth it.

3. Norm, when you resolve your conflicts, take time to understand each other and progress together as a couple.

4. Perform, trust is taken to the highest level, you’re both able to live your own lives but are still together, when a dispute comes up; it can be settled.

Probably the furthest that I’ve ever gotten is the storm stage. I would contribute that to maturity and more of a general sense of understanding for my girlfriend at that time. Let’s see how I go the next time I get a chance with someone, but for now single life is where it’s at and that’s how it’ll probably be for some time.

I just thought I’d share with you my thoughts while I munching away on food, funny how things can just pop out at random times haha.