Cheating
Let me give you a scenario if you have the time to read this and after reading, Â should you have an opinion then I will be grateful that you have left your comments.
To start off this story, I’m going to call the main star of this story Harry and his co star Sally. Bill in his life had only been in two serious relationships before meeting his wife. Mind you though, those two previous relationships were just after he turned 18, and both ended in disaster. The first one was due to his confidence and being in his first ever relationship, was not confident with himself thus losing the girl. The second relationship although lasting for a few years, ended because she wanted a change. So now we come to the final and current relationship of where “Harry Met Sally”.Â
Harry met Sally through some friends and they clicked straightaway, for Sally it would be her first ever relationship, let alone the first time she was with a man one on one. Years went by and it was then that they decided to marry, it was the logical solution since Harry thought to himself that this was his soulmate, while for Sally, he was a guy she could see herself with in the long run. However there was a little problem that Harry found a bit off putting, Sally was not into physical intimacy. Not even foreplay, long moments of passionate kissing and sex to Sally, just seemed like a chore to her. Never mind that Harry loves her with all his heart and says that he is dedicated to her, it was just that the marriage lacked the spice that he wanted in his life.
So one day Harry decides to travel with friends abroad and leaves Sally back home to continue on with her work. It is while he is on holidays that he meets some exotic beautiful women and curiousity kills the cat. He meets different women on several occasion and enjoys himself immensely. Please do note that when Harry meets these women, he never engages in sexual intercourse but does kiss and gets hand jobs etc. The holidays end and everyone resumes their normal life, no one mentions a word and once again Harry speaks highly of his wife and says that she is the love of his life.
In my opinion, given what has happened in the story above, I would say that what Harry has done is morally wrong but doesn’t that make Sally in the wrong too for not providing an aspect that seems important in any relationship? Perhaps maybe what Harry should’ve done is taken the time to understand Sally and know that this is her first time and work things out. Even going to counselling and see if things can change and an understanding come between the both of them. Ultimately though in the end what Harry has done is a faux pas, I don’t know how the story ends because it’s just exactly that, a story and I’m no expert when it comes to marriage (gotta take that path first before I can give my opinion).
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Enjoying sex, making love to each other is a very important aspect in a marriage life.
If either 1 party is not enjoying, or seeing such activity as a chore, it is a unhealthy sign.
Couples with such “problem” should read up more on this intimacy subjects, see a specialist, spend time talking to each other.
Common methods to induce spice into sex life – watch a porn flick together,
have a BIG mirror on the ceiling just above the bed (YES, IT HELPS!)
- dirty talk on how beautiful the tits are etc~
=) my 2 cents.
And for Harry, he is just like most men out there. yeah, me too.
I disagree with one thing that you have said – that you say you’re not married and so dont have an opinion on this.
I’d challenge that – think about your opinions before you commit to someone, and work out in your mind what is important to you. If “Harry” had had more of an opinion on the importance of sex and intimacy in a monogamous relationship, he might have avoided this difficult situation.
Also, as you know I’m quite opinionated, I’d say kissing and hand jobs is the same as going the whole hog – same as paid sex – it’s still cheating, honey. Monogamy is just that, and if you’re not happy with monogamy, there are plenty of people out there who are willing to have a relationship which is more sexually open. In fact I know people who insist that they couldn’t handle monogamy, including a friend of mine who’s a sex worker but also has a happy and loving relationship with her partner. The key, once again, is having an opinion, or exploring enought to develop an opinion before you get to That Moment when it all comes crashing down, because you haven’t spent the time thinking and talking about this stuff.