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I broke up with my first girlfriend, because I felt I was too comfortable, things were too good to be true, we hardly had any argument and she was always willing to make me happy.  Had I stayed with her for a while, I would’ve probably thought this is it, this is what marriage is meant to be like, and *BANG* gotten married.  I would’ve been content doing the every day couple thing, but please give me a break, I was only 17 years old back then, there was no way I would’ve been ready for a long commitment.  Besides, breaking up with my first girlfriend was probably the best thing I could’ve done otherwise, I would’ve been just wondering and curious of what it would be like to date other women.

Another time, I broke up with an amazingly beautiful woman because she constantly just nagged me about my dress sense, which then led to having other arguments.  She was a nice girl and looked after me very well, just that I failed to see the big picture with her and broke up with her on my birthday (she planned a nice dinner for my friends and me which we cancelled since you already know why).

I can probably go on about the amount of times I’ve chosen to walk away from a girl simply cause it just didn’t feel right or I was bored.  That’s not being picky, it’s just saving myself the hassle in the future.  I find that the longer you drag things out with your partner, the harder it is to break up with them, because you are just misleading them into a false sense of security.  It’s better to be honest then play charades and mind games.

Fast forward to the present and I am currently single.  I constantly do get asked if I have a partner and if not why not?

Mr T: Dude why is it, that you don’t have a girl by your side, you’re like one of the nicest guys I know, girls dig that
Me: Hmm probably cause I just don’t go out enough and socialise like other people would?
Mr T: Nah I reckon it’s jus that your’re too picky
Me: ….
Mr T: I’m serious, half the times we comment on some chick that walks by and you think she’s the opposite.
Me: That’s not being picky dude, she just didn’t strike me as attractive
Mr T: Oh not to mention the fact that you’ve only ever dated asians
Me: What’s wrong with that?
Mr T: Well you’ve just cut your choices down and made things harder for yourself

There’s nothing wrong if I date just asians, it’s just growing up all I did was hang out with asians thus, the girls that I dated were asians, make sense ya?  It does make sense though, what if I broadened my choices to include all ethnic groups, it’s not that I don’t like them, I just never got to meet one to go out with in the first place.  Oh hey, why not include girls of any size and looks, and if girls don’t work out, include men so that way, I have a 100% chance of scoring!!!

FAIL!!  There’s no way I am gonna even think about making out with a guy (God made Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve), not that I have anything against gays.  Second of all, there’s nothing wrong with women, who are big, small or tall, just that if I see them and I am attracted to them then sure.  However to call me picky is just simply being ignorant, I can’t help my circumstances and it’s not like I have a abundance of women to choose from.  If I’m fortunate to meet someone nice and we connect, then it’s on, if we don’t connect then spare me the judgment.

Girls are more pickier then guys, but that’s in my opinion

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Have a wonderful week, hmm French Toast with English Breakfast Tea!! My way of saying sorry, I couldn’t stay up much longer.

And guess what???  I got something for people who like to mind f*ck too, hehe and I’m so damn considerate I tell you.

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Two weekends ago, I was just minding my own business late one night, talking to a friend, and then heard loud noises from outside my apartment.  I went out to the kitchen area, where the front door was situated, next thing I know I heard arguing and loud footsteps.  Then the next thing that sorta made me jump was a bang and some glass shattering, following by a loud thud from the door closing.  I opened my door to see what had happened, and there was my neighbour from upstairs, visibly shaken and crying.  Meanwhile her rather drunk and obnoxious (currently ex) boyfriend was just there, sulking and waiting to get back inside.
Neighbour: “What should I do”
Me: “Are you ok?”
Neighbour: “I’m so sorry for waking you up, he just came back and was drunk”
Me: “Would you like me to call the police?”
Neighbour: “No it’s ok, I don’t want to get arrested”

Then I backed away but kept my door away, as she proceeded to head down and talk it out with her ex man.  Still shaken, she told him to go home but he wouldn’t have any of it, and demanded that he let her back in.  Then what was a calm conversation turned into an ugly argument of who was right and who was wrong.  After exhausting all avenues, then came the pathetic part.  Dude started pleading for forgiveness and expressed of how much he loved her.  He kept repeating over and over again about how he loved her and that she should let him in.  When that didn’t work, he then wanted to leave the things that she bought for him, and from what I could see was just a hat, shirt and wallet with some money for the damage caused by him breaking the lights (hence the bang).  Now I wasn’t just standing there being a gossipy neighbour, I stood by the door just to make sure that she was going to be ok and that ex dude wasn’t gonna go all ape like and psycho.

Conclusion was that I called the police and they came to arrest him for disturbing the peace and damage to property.  While upset neighbour called her girlfriend to keep her company for the night and thanked me for watching over the situation and not just being a bystander who likes to be nosey.

The main point to this story is that it’s kind of sad that people would use the word “love” just to try and keep things together, when clearly the ship is sinking and it’s over.  Then to use it midway in a desperate attempt is even more sadder, the girl was already upset, why bring that funny word love up.  I can’t exactly give him credit, cause it wasn’t like he was fighting for it, just begging.

Meanwhile, a close friend of mine, who is currently married, is going through some tough times, from constant arguments, financial stress, and to put the cherry on top, there’s no intimacy whatsoever.  What keeps him in this marriage though, is that he says he loves her and she’s the woman of his dreams.  I’m once again forced to be a bystander and can’t say much, he already has plans to start a business soon and to have children.  I told him though that is he sure that he wants to commit to something of that magnitude, when all there is in this marriage is constant bickering.

Sometimes,  love isn’t enough, and there needs to be a reason and a foundation to keep things going.  I constantly talk about how there needs to be two people and not to let things be just a one way traffic.  Of course there’s going to be ups and downs, and things may not just go your way.  You just need to have an understanding of each other and have patience.  There also needs to be a compromise and in the end I’m sure it’ll all be worthwhile.

I’m rambling on like I’m an expert on this field but to be honest, I’m still learning my lessons and making sure that when the chance does come by, I’ll be ready to really say those three words, and not just to get into bed with someone, or just for a lousy excuse to get back with someone.

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Relationships are like glass.  Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.  ~Author Unknown

Every morning I go to work, the flowers that I bought close to two weeks ago, are still on the kitchen bench. Being an Australian flora collection, they’re still alive and showing it’s Australian strength.  I think about the person who once held them and how it made that person happy upon seeing it.  I hope that happiness has carried over with them wherever they may be, and let them know that my thoughts are always with them, and thinking of them constantly.

Just randomly I’ll put this in:
Girl I need ya
Like a comedian needs a joke
Baby I need you the most

Oh yeh that was random alright but just a tune that’s been playing over in my head over and over again, and I just kept saying the same lyrics.  It’s gotta be better then I love you like a fat goat loves grass wouldn’t you agree?

Also in my head are these random words; someone has heavily left their imprint on me and I am now not making any sense. For example let’s take a look at the following:

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Abercrombie believe it or not, was the first words used to describe the native Australians, the aboriginals.

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While Benetton was suppose to be pronounced as Bonython, a local suburb in Canberra.  It’s actually pronounced as Bo-Ny-Fern.

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Good ol’ Musali Nakka, not sure who the hell he is, but to one person Musali is actually a healthy tasty breakfast food.  If I was gay, yes I too, would love to taste Musali….

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Wanissa is another suburb in Canberra and is much bigger then a custom made camera for a mobile phone.  Pronounced as Wa-Niya-Sa.

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So good, if you’re happy and feeling just gay, but a name used to describe a delicious Australia - New Zealand ice cream. 

Simply: Hey let’s go grab a golden gayness
Me: Hmm say whaaa???

Next year I’ll look forward to going to the city of Melbourne for …

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Climbing the Sydney Harbour bridge (something I’ve always wanted to do), we were in a group of six and in that group was an American couple who had never been to Australia.  They were talking about how they were enjoying Sydney, and how the streets especially Chinatown were just way cleaner then those in the States (yes Aussie Aussie Aussie!!).  I get into a conversation upon reaching the summit of the Sydney Harbour Bridge and it goes a little something like this:

Me: “Would you rate this as one of the best experiences in your life?”
Philadelphia dude: ” Not quite since when you meet the love of your life, get married to her and have beautiful children then it doesn’t come close.”
Me: “Oh eerr rightio”

It’s almost the equivalent of when you walk down the street and think that someone is about to shake your hand but really is shaking the dudes hand behind you.  Ooooh the embarrasment, and all you can do is use that hand to adjust your hair or do something like stretch to recover from an embarrasing moment.

I still remember the view from above and I can now look at pictures of the Harbour bridge aka the Coathanger and say that yes I have climbed it and enjoyed the view.  For now it’s something that I consider as a once in a lifetime experience and until I do what Philly dude did then it’s my most treasured moment.

Image courtesy from the folks at Bridgeclimb

Yessir, it’s business time, not to that extent though and it’s been sometime since I’ve had “business time” haha.  Being on the topic of business time, for those of you that didn’t know, I’ve already started my new job and so far things are going great.  I couldn’t be more happier and it seems like a good fit for me right now.  But in the back of my mind, I am always weary and keeping myself in check, that I have a job to do and can never slack off.  If you ask me I can almost relate starting a new job to like your first dates with a girl or guy and wanting to show that person that you have the right stuff to make it work in a relationship.  Well that’s probably more so the interview process, when you do go out on dates and get to know each other better.  How you got to that date can vary, from getting hooked up by your friends, internet dating, meeting up randomly at a club or while being out and about.  We’ll call that the initial stages which is the equivalent to handing in your resume and application, and seeing what chances you have to getting interviewed.

Finally once you have been succesful in the prior stages, you got yourself a relationship, and it takes time and commitment to make it work and worthwhile, just like your current job or schoolwork depending on your age.  This is what I am currently doing right now, just getting to know the details of my job and committing myself so that for the future I have set myself a foundation and can set myself off to a solid start.  Like any commitments, the key ingredients are patience and understanding.  Trust me having those two gets you a long long way in life in any circumstances.

However failing that, you can always leave your job and start all over again, and I am sure you have figured it out that this would be considered the divorce.  Then we start all over again and are back to square one.  Pretty scary stuff when you’ve just come out of a divorce and just starting out again.  Here I am though, at my new job and eager to make this last as long as I can.  Finger crossed, knock wood and all that jive.

I don’t know if this was a common case, but remember the days, when you use to like someone or maybe were even infatuated with a particular person, and you wanted to get to know them more.  So what any normal human would do, is ask everyone or anyone that may have known this person in hopes of getting to know them better.  But then depending on how psychotic or how much of a nut case you were, it would lead to walking past their homes, classes, their workplace and much much more.  It all really depends on how what levels of stalking you wanted to pursue, but with the existence of the internet and technology on the rise, things have definitely changed.

If you got the cash and can afford the use of a super satellite to zone in on your desired prey then by all means go for it .  But if you’re just average Joe and have the use of the internet and a PC then things can definitely change.  You got the use of google.com and just enter the person’s name and hey presto, see how far you get with the results.  Then to top it off, the surge of facebook and myspace don’t help and can definitely be a like a all you can eat buffet in Ethiopia for your stalker if you’re not careful with your profile’s privacy settings.  I mean seriously with facebook in particular, if I need to check on how Mr\Ms ABC is doing, just type in the name and see if I have any friends related to that person.  Then from there see if I can check out my friends profile to get to Mr\Ms ABC.  It’s so simple, and it definitely saves you the time of asking and all from the privacy of your home or where ever you may be.

I have no doubts that soon people will change the way they do things, and laws may be needed to be brought in for privacy acts etc.  For now though there’s nothing more you can do but just protect your privacy the best you can and just limit the use of social networking websites etc.

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Must Be Nice
Having someone who understands the life you live
Must Be Nice
Having someone who’s slow to take and quick to give
Must Be Nice
Having someone who sticks around when the rough times get thick
Must be nice
Having someone who loves you despite your faults
Must be nice
Having someone who talks the talk but also walks the walk
Someone who loves you for sho’
you just remember to never let ‘em go

Lyfe Jennings - Must Be Nice

It is definitely nice when you have someone who can walk beside you and be there through the thick and thin.  I found all that from one simple walk along the Yarra river and enjoying the view before me.  It was almost like a metaphor for life itself, and how it can be indeed full of ups and downs.  Sometimes when you’re running around looking for solutions and making things so much more complicated, all you had to do was open your eyes and right there, was the answer. It may be a long winding road but in the end the journey is all so worth it.

 Monday 11th August 9:34pm Melbourne