Reflecting back on those vows, they have all dissapeared and are pretty much non-existant.  It’s a good thing too, because if not I would be a stubborn fool who is too stupid to admit his mistakes on the past.  Let’s have a look at the vows and what happened of them.

1. Breaking all ties and no friendship:  I don’t know when I changed that rule but I think it had something to do with relationships that ended amicably.  I couldn’t exactly be upset or just be silent to someone who I still didn’t mind talking to.  Especially in the circumstances where I had met someone in the U.S, and it was best to just stay friends rather then try carrying on a relationship that was so hard to maintain.  I think I’m still on good terms with all the girls in the latter stage of my life and it’s good because there are times that I do wanna catch up and see what has happened since I last saw them.  Even maybe ask them what I was like and if I could’ve improved in any particular areas during our time together. History exists for a reason and to me it’s to learn from the past to move forward.

2. Saving myself for marriage:  When I started this blog I wrote a post talking about my first time, and if you read that then you would remember that I had lost it at when I turned 20.  Feelings and spur of the moment had a lot to do with that, and in a way I’m glad I did because I believe that love making is an extension of our feelings and how we display our affections.  I know there’s different way of expressing your emotions but to me, being able to physical express yourself is a unbelievable human experience that we don’t always get to share with others.  It means much more when you have very deep love and connection for that special someone.  Can you picture that??  Kissing the person who you know you’re going to be with forever and the euphoria that comes with that??

3. Destroying all things related to the girl:  I deeply regret this one because I destroyed so many love letters and things that I had created, wrote or did.  I think when I first started being in a relationship, I use to write daily love letters and poems.  I even told one of my good friends to take one box of letters that I use to collect while going out with a particular girl and burn it at his house.  Thinking that he wouldn’t since he knew how much I liked this girl, it turns out that he did since I couldn’t stop talking about her and it was a very unhealthy obsession.   The story behind this, was that it was the first time I got cheated on and the dude was my best friend and the ex girlfriend and best friend ended up getting married anyways.   But I wish that I was able to read what I wrote and how love struck was I?  Thank God that the internet exists because there was a blog I use to troll on and write so much stuff all related to one girl.  I read back on it sometimes and it sickens me because oh my gosh was I really that blinded with love?

4.  Picture with girlfriends:  That definitely had to be scrapped and I think I broke free of that rule at the same time with said experience above.  It was purely accidental and I think it was the time we were both interested and went out one night, and took a picture together.   I remember when we both took it and it got developed, it was a great picture and I knew that we would later develop into something more then friends.   Let’s not forget that with the change and rise of technology, taking pictures has become so much more easier.  I also want to be able to recall the life that I had and what was going through my mind in any pictures I see.

But let’s say that I was seeing someone and we were going along quite steadily then one day she either goes through my PC or my personal belongings and found this photo:

She may lose the plot and ask me what the f*ck am I doing with this photo and why didn’t I get rid of it etc.   However shouldn’t she take the time to step back and wonder who that person might be and not jump into conclusions??   Even if it was someone who I use to call my girlfriend, should it even matter since it’s all in the past and it doesn’t mean anything more then just a memory?  I’m sure regardless there’ll be some explaining to do and knowing me I’d probably bend her way and please her.   SEE!!!   Who says that old habits are hard to die??

When Howard Schultz decided to close all of Canberra’s branches of Starbucks I was distraught but alas I have found my fix in Sydney and it oh feels so good to consume the cup of fatness.  Nowadays, all I have to be content with is  Gloria Jeans with their iced drinks range that they make there, and although it doesn’t quite match to the powerhouse of Starbucks, there’s not much else I can do but accept it.  I have been going to the local asian grocey stores and getting drinks such as Sangara bottles, Soya Bean drinks and Chrysanthemum tea, they hit the spot too in the sometimes hot weather of Canberra.  Having read this of course, you would’ve gathered by now that yes, I have an incredibly sweet tooth.

To Ms Simply, in return I want to be able to give you the world and possibly some mimosa too =p

Picture courtesy of www.weeklyreader.com

Fred has cordially invited me to be a guest writer on his blog. So, before I begin devling into the depths of my own naive realism, I would like to post a small introduction as to whom I am and how I got here. I believe that it was through a mutual friend and the amount of hours that both Fred and I played Counter-Strike, that lead to our eventual friendship. I first met Fred on IRC, around six or so years ago, at what would arguably be the peak of the Counter-Strike revolution. At that time I was attending grade 11 at Chanel College in Gladstone, Queensland. From there I entered as an undergraduate at the University of New England, studying a Bachelor of Arts / Bachelor of Laws. Currently, I am in my fifth and final year of my degree, planning on attending the College of Law in Sydney next year to attain admittance as a Solicitor in NSW, NT and the ACT.

I look forward to writing and sharing many interesting experiences. Especially as I enter my final years of study and begin my travels into the modern workforce.

Cheers

Madison

Forgive me for what I am about to post and the contents involved. Since this is my first post, I was thinking of all the firsts that I’ve gone through in my life. The first time I had my first kiss, the first time I actually managed to get a girlfriend (thanks to strict parents), the first time I rode a bike and stacked it into the shrubs, there’s just way too many firsts to list. Each came with a feeling of accomplishment or down right embarrasment. But you never forget your firsts, and there’s always going to be plenty of firsts especially in this life that we get to go through.

My first time that I wanted to bring out was the first time I actually lost my virginity. Growing up I had always planned on losing my virginity on the day that I got married. I kept that belief up for some time even with having had two girlfriends not once did I think of doing anything of that nature. It wasn’t up until I was 19 that I started experimenting and getting familiar with a womans body. I didn’t actually get to do much but let me just say that watching pornos already gave me some sort of idea on what to do. Right then and there, the minute I got the chance to be intimate, I knew that I was would be a fanatic for life. I had already predicted to my high school friends that losing my virginity would mold me into some sort of sex fiend. But back to the story, the actual age I lost my virginity was 20 and the girl I would lose my virginity to was my fifth girlfriend (kind of shows how I was going to stick to my original plan of marriage and losing it then).

You could say that I was pressured into it seeing as I came out of a bad relationship that didn’t last long and I wanted to not feel like this relationship was a rebound. But with one weeks constant pressure, I caved in and so it happened. It was in my apartment that I was renting in, and it was on a Sunday night. I didn’t know what to do seeing as I was in awe of this beautiful naked body that lay before me. She started to undress me and what came next was just a shriek of excitement as we both layed together naked. We kissed and did the bout of foreplay, then she asked me:

Ms C: Are you ready?
Me: For?
Ms C: To fuck what else?
Me: (With a nervous stammer) Oh hmm yeh

The fear of going where Fred has never been was building up and if I didn’t do this, I would most considerably call myself a chicken shit. So it began, I felt the warmth of her legs and everything you would expect from being inside a woman. From the pubes to the moistness of her vagina. The feeling was quite extraordinary and I just started moving my pelvis in and out, to this new found sensation. The smell of her, her voice and the sound of her breathing close to my ears, all overloaded my systems since it was an experience I had never felt. I would climax and with it my virginity was officially gone. I curled up against her as she pulled me in closer. She curled one leg around my legs and wrapped both her arms around me. I then fell asleep (YEAH RIGHT PSYCHE). I actually stayed up and just held her for a long duration.

Some of you may have started early, some of you may have started late, my first time experience was great, but it wasn’t exactly the way I had wanted it. If I had learned anything, it is to make sure that when you do have sex, have it with someone special.